Episode 264: Surprise! It’s Not About You
Someone is rude to you for no apparent reason. A neighbor ignores your friendly wave. Or someone you care about seems unusually upset, and you start wondering what you did wrong.
In this listener-requested episode of Winning Mindset Mastery, April Shprintz explains why the way people react to you often has absolutely nothing to do with you.
Through examples involving a rude pharmacist, a teenager having a difficult day, and neighbors who never wave back, April shows how considering what someone else might be going through can change your perspective. Sometimes, understanding that everyone has their own story is all it takes to stop taking things personally.
—
Listen to the podcast here
Surprise! It’s Not About You
Why Understanding Someone Else’s Story Can Help You Stop Taking Things Personally
Hi there. I am so glad you’re here.
Today’s episode is by popular demand. And did you know that you can request an episode?
Actually, all you have to do is go to winningmindsetmasterypodcast.com and all the way down near the bottom, there’s an ask April section.
You can put in requests for the kind of episode topics you want. You can also ask me a personal question.
It will come to me personally in my own email. It’s completely private, and I will answer you if you have a mindset question and I will send it right back to you, private message directly from me, not my staff, and I would be more than happy to help you with it.
But right now, what I want to help you with is the episode that someone requested, which is do a little more. It’s not about you.
Most of the Time, It’s Not About You
Now, if you haven’t heard this episode before and the different ways I’ve done it, this is basically to help you understand that 97% of the way people react to you, the way that strangers treat you, has absolutely nothing to do with you.
And when you really understand that, it is like a superpower because you don’t have to get upset when people are acting like wack-a-doodles.
And look, people be peopling hard sometimes.
And look, people be peopling hard sometimes. Share on XSo this will help you understand. I’m going to give you a variety of examples.
And you can think of some from your own life too, because when you know the backstory to why people are behaving the way they are, it’s a lot easier not to take it personally.
The Rude Pharmacist: What If You Knew the Backstory?
So for example, I have a friend who went and filled a prescription and the pharmacist was an absolute douche.
He was such a jerk.
She had no idea why. She got kind of worked up about it.
And I said, listen, would you feel differently if you found out that he just heard from a friend of his, a very reliable friend, that his wife has been cheating on him for two years.
And then you find out, oh, wait, that had nothing to do with me.
That’s not the way I would have handled it, but it wasn’t about me. He was dealing with something else.
How would you feel?
When Your Teenager Is Having a Hard Day
Let’s think about, say, someone’s teenage daughter, and let’s say that she’s being really, really tough on her mom for different reasons, right?
And you’re like, oh my gosh, why is she doing this?
Well, mom, might not be about you.
Might be about some mean girls at school, might be about stress that she has about going to college, might be just about hormones and she’s having a super hard day.
But if you know it’s not about you, then you don’t have to take it personally.
But if you know it's not about you, then you don't have to take it personally. Share on XThe Neighbor Who Never Waves Back
Or let’s say you are that super friendly neighbor who is always waving to everyone in the neighborhood, and there are these neighbors that no matter what you do, they are not waving back, and you start to think, what a jerk, what an awful person.
Why are they not doing this?
And you get upset.
What if you thought about the fact that maybe that person has had the kind of life where they don’t think that you’re waving at them because people haven’t paid a lot of attention to them?
What if there’s someone who’s so distracted by all the different things that are going on in their world, they can’t even pay attention to the beauty and the friendliness around them?
How does that make you feel?
Everyone Has a Story
You know, years ago I saw a video that Chick fil A put on called Everyone Has a Story.
You can probably go and search for it on YouTube.
And it really helped me to see how they train the folks that work in their businesses.
Those young people have got this amazing insight into the fact that every single person that comes into one of their locations has a story.
And in that video, they’ll show different people coming up to the register and they’ll have a bubble above their head that says something that can sometimes be heartbreaking.
This man just lost his wife and he’s here with his daughter who he wishes wasn’t here anymore, so he didn’t have to be here.
Or this woman is here and this is the best part of her week because the staff is so friendly to her.
When you understand the stories behind why people are doing the things that they do, you can imagine what the story might be for someone when you don’t know why they do what they do.
Be the Bright Spot in Someone’s Day
But the one thing that you can rely on, the one thing you can know, it’s not about you in the best way.
And that allows you to be the bright spot in your own day, to be the bright spot in other people’s days, but to not take it personally when people don’t act the way towards you that you would want them to.
And that allows you to be the bright spot in your own day, to be the bright spot in other people's days, but to not take it personally when people don't act the way towards you that you would want them to. Share on XSo give this a try.
Start using this in your day-to-day life and see if it doesn’t make you feel better.
I bet you it will.
Here’s to your success.
