Feeling stuck and unsure what you really want? You’re not alone. Today, April Shprintz shares a counterintuitive truth: clarity often starts by getting honest about what you don’t want anymore. From burned-out executives craving family time to people done shrinking for others, eliminating what no longer fits is the fastest path from confusion to inspired action. Learn how “negative clarity” can unlock your next step—and how to pivot fast toward the life you’re meant to live.
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The Most Unexpected Way To Get Clarity
Using Negativity To Find Clarity
In this episode, I am going to say something to you that is not going to sound like me at all. What I’m going to say to you is that sometimes when you need to understand what it is you want, you’ve got to go negative. What? No, seriously. Sometimes, when we’re trying to decide what it is we want in life, because you want to focus on what you want because you get more of it, we just don’t know.
We’re at a place where we’re confused. Maybe we’re stuck, maybe we’re in a rut, maybe we just can’t see the good thing that we want. The best place to start, and you never thought you’d hear this from me, what don’t you want? What do you not want in your life anymore? What do you not want to do anymore? What do you not want to experience anymore? Once you know what you don’t want, you often can then figure out what that means you do want.
I’ll give you some client examples. I had a client who was making a couple mof illion dollars a year working in corporate. It seems awesome. What they didn’t want was to be away from their family so much. That pointed them towards, “Maybe I’ll be an entrepreneur and I can either make the same amount of money or less money but keep more of it, but I know what I do want is to spend more time with my family because the thing I don’t want is to be away from them so much.”
Another example, someone didn’t want to keep shrinking themselves to be around the people they were around. They didn’t want to be less than anymore. They may not have known that they wanted to step into being their authentic self, but what they did know is they didn’t want to pretend to be what people found palatable, what people could handle.
I love to say when people think you’re too much, you tell them to go ahead and find less because usually, the people who will say you are too much are not people that are doing better than you are, are happier than you are. They are people who are unhappy for their own reasons or what you’re doing wouldn’t be bothering them. Don’t get overly fussed with it. I don’t take advice from or care about the opinions of people I wouldn’t trade lives with. Makes things much easier.
Don’t stay in that negative place—but go there long enough to decide what you don’t want. Then start looking for the opportunities that show up to help you create what you do want. Share on XAnother example. I had somebody who had been career military and planning to retire in the next few years and had just lived that life and always thought that that was who they were and had this pivotal moment where they realized, “I don’t want to be in the military anymore.” It just came out of nowhere. Now, that person may not know what they want to do next and that may come later, but sometimes, the clarity itself just comes to you from saying what it is you don’t want.
I know a fantastic fitness and nutrition coach by the name of Sabine Richards and she has done just some remarkable things and she got in incredible shape in her late 40s. That started with the clarity of, “I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I don’t want to look like this anymore.” Once she made that decision, she started focusing on what she did want. She wanted to be fit. She wanted to be strong. She eventually wanted to lose 40 pounds, which she did. She wanted to be in a fitness competition, which she did.
Transitioning From Negative Clarity To Positive Action
Sometimes, we’ve got to start with all that stuff that we don’t want and that can move us to what we do want. Now, don’t stay there for too long, don’t talk about it all the time. For example, the person who was talking about how they didn’t want to be in the military anymore, the advice I gave them was to focus on all the stuff you love about being in the military. Now that you know that, that truth is out there, you’ve said it, focus on all the things you love about it because when you do, you won’t be running away from something, you’ll be running towards something and you will get inspired action about the next thing you do.
Make that decision. Don’t stay in that negative place, but get there, decide what you don’t want and then start looking for all the opportunities that are going to start showing up for you to have the things you now want. I’m telling you, this is an incredible process. It is probably one of the only times I will tell you to go negative but it will make a huge difference for you. Try it out and if you have questions for me, don’t forget, you can always go to my website WinningMindsetMasteryPodcast.com.
All the way down at the bottom is the Ask April section. I love when you guys talk to me there. Just push that button and you can ask me any question you have. I think it gives you five minutes of recording time. I will answer you personally and privately and help you with whatever it is that you’re struggling with and give you the best thoughts I can on how to make it easier for you. Here’s to your success.
