Have you ever faced a major setback—a job loss, a career detour, or a sudden change you couldn’t control? Most people treat a loss like a devastating blow, but what if you could turn that moment of defeat into a powerful personal win? We recently saw this play out with two high-level professionals who both lost their jobs in a corporate restructuring. They faced the exact same scenario, yet for one, the resulting two months were a stress-filled nightmare, and for the other, it was a time off filled with family fun and relaxation. The difference wasn’t the ultimate outcome—both landed great new roles—the difference was the secret to their mindset. Today, we reveal the powerful perspective shift that determines whether a loss happens to you or for you, and how mastering this secret can make you feel better, less stressed, and more refreshed, even during life’s most challenging curveballs.
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The Secret That Makes A Loss A Win
Contrasting Responses To Unexpected Job Loss
I am so glad you’re here. I have two people that I know who recently lost their jobs in corporate restructuring, and both of them are high up there. It was so interesting to watch how differently each of them handled it. The scenarios were so similar. They were both in upper-level jobs. They both moved to take those jobs. In both cases, it had not been terribly long that they’d been there, and corporate restructuring meant their jobs were no longer available.
Two different individuals and two different ways of looking at life. Both of them were able to find a new job in about two months. One person, as soon as it happened, said, “This wasn’t what I was expecting, but here are the things I’m going to be able to do with this time since now I’ll be looking for a job, and I’m not going into work every day.” She chose to use the time to do fun things with her family and take it as time off and really trust that the next thing that happens for her is going to be a great thing.
That’s what she chose to do. See it as happening for her, not to her. Now, the other individual was super worried, super pissed, and complaining that they weren’t going to be able to find this good of a job, and they were really upset about the changes and putting resumes out everywhere and telling everybody about how bad it was and how awful it was and really repeating that story of this happened to me.
Not seeing how it could possibly be leading to something better. Now here’s what’s interesting. In this particular case, the same thing happened for both of them. Both of them, in about two months, got jobs that they were very happy about and went on with their career. This is not one of those situations like I normally talk about, where I say, “The way that you look at things impacts exactly what happens to you.”
If mindset did nothing else—and that’s not true because it does a lot—but if it only helped you feel better, wouldn’t it still be worth practicing reframing and understanding that things happen for us, not to us? Share on XIn that they both got the jobs that they wanted, except for those two months in between. The way that they looked at the situation determined what eight weeks of their life felt like. She enjoyed it. She had fun with her family. She knew it was going to work out for her. She did not stress. She came to this new role and this new job refreshed, excited, and ready to dive in.
Mindset Determines Quality Of Experience Not Just Outcome
He worried those entire two months, was way more stressed than if he’d had time off, was way more stressed than he would have been if he’d just worked those two months, and he was absolutely miserable. Sometimes people will say to me, “April, I do not know if mindset actually impacts what happens to me. It just impacts the way I feel.” Which would you rather have?
Would you rather have the two months where you trusted everything was going to work out, everything was going to be okay for you, and you had a little extra time to enjoy? Do you want the two months where you feel like absolute shit, you think the world is crumbling down beside you and around you, and you do not know what you’re going to do next?
Because candidly, if mindset did nothing else, and it’s not true, it does a lot, but if it did nothing else, but just helped you feel better, wouldn’t it be worth practicing reframing understanding that things are happening for us, not to us, and looking at all the times it’s worked out for you before so that you can trust that it’s going to work out for you now.
Even if it didn’t impact the opportunities you saw and you still got things that you wanted, wouldn’t you much rather go through that process in a way that was easier on you and your loved ones and those around you and allowed you to just enjoy life instead of being angry and worried and dissatisfied? If you asked me, I would do that all day long. Next time something happens that you cannot control, try this. Try seeing it as happening for you instead of to you. Here’s to your success.
