Want to master the art of reframing and unlock a winning mindset? In this episode, we dive deep into practical techniques to shift your perspective and see every situation as working for you, not against you. Learn a simple three-step process to check your “oven” (aka your emotional reaction), find new perspectives (even if they’re just for the moment), and access the advice you’d give a dear friend. We’ll explore real-life examples of reframing everything from home renovations to travel hiccups, and you’ll discover how to automatically turn challenges into opportunities. Get ready to train your unconscious mind to see the bright side and embrace the power of a reframed reality!
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Reframing: Your Secret Mindset Weapon
The Reframing Secret Weapon: Winning Mindset Mastery
I am so glad you’re here. It is time to do some reframing practice. We haven’t done it in a while. It is your secret weapon when it comes to having a winning mindset. I love to practice reframing. As I’ve told you before, don’t practice it on your friends in front of them and tell them how you’d live their life differently. Either practice it by listening to situations and reframing them in your mind, or watch a television show and reframe how you would look at that differently while you objectively see that information.
The 3-Step Reframing Formula: Control Your Emotions And Gain Perspective
As a reminder, when you’re going to be reframing, it’s a three-step process. The first thing I want you to do is to check your oven. What I mean by that is, how upset are you? Are you reacting at a higher level than makes sense for the situation itself? When we think about an oven, most of the time, you can reheat something at about 350 degrees, or if you want to reheat it slowly, maybe 180. If you’re well above 500 degrees, it will heat it up, but it will also probably burn it. The first thing you want to do is pull that oven down and start to remind yourself that things are always working out for you. They happen for you, not to you. Then, see how you can make yourself feel better.
The second thing that we always go to in the process is what new information would help. Remember, it doesn’t matter if this information is true. It only matters if it makes you feel better in the moment. I’ll explain what I mean when I go through some examples. The next is, what advice would you give to a trusted friend or a child who was telling you they were in the exact same situation and asking you for your advice? The reason that third thing helps so much is because it helps you be more objective and come outside of the situation.
Real-Life Reframing: Roof Delays & Experienced Planes
I’m going to tell you a few things that I reframed and let you use these for practice. I’ve been replacing the roof on my home. It’s a pretty long process. I had several different days when they were going to come and start the project and tear off my roof, which is barrel tile. It would’ve been loud and messy. Several times, when they came to do it, they got delayed or didn’t show up. I could be upset about it. I could complain. I could do all those things, or I could assume, “Everything is always working out for me. I know there’s a good reason for this. I don’t know what it is.” That was the way I chose to look at it.
Think of new information that would help. Remember, it doesn't matter if this information is true. It only matters if it makes you feel better in the moment. Share on XHere’s what’s interesting. I found out the day before they started the work that they were going to do it, and it only happened to be the 1 set of 2 days in the entire month I was going to be gone. I went to do a speaking event. I missed all the mess. I missed all the noise. They were so super kind to me because I had been kind about the different delays. I’m sure they had good reasons. I never even asked what they were. The great thing is that the rest of the project is going to go faster because of those delays.
If I had had that new information beforehand, even if I was brand-new to mindset and someone said, “This isn’t going to start when you thought it would, but when it does start, the whole process is going to be easier and go much more quickly,” I would’ve been thrilled with it and fine with it. That would’ve been a piece of information I could have used to say, “Maybe the rest of it will go faster since it’s starting later on and we’re waiting on things to be delivered.”
I talked about going to a speaking event. This is one of the better reframes I have ever heard. I was flying to Dallas. I got on a plane, and it was a plane that had been flying for quite some time. It didn’t even have any screens on the back of the seats, which Delta is known for. Someone commented, “This plane doesn’t even have any screens.” The flight attendant, without missing a beat, said, “You’re on one of our more experienced planes.”
“I know this is happening for me instead of to me. I can't wait to figure out how.” Share on XFrom now on, that is how I’m reframing the word old. I will never be called old. I will be more experienced. I’m going to use this in conversation with people to confuse them and make them laugh. Think about that. Instead of thinking of it as something that has been used over and over again, a little long in the tooth, and a little more worn, you can say, “It’s very experienced.” The reframe made me chuckle and made me not as upset about the fact that I was in a plane that didn’t necessarily have Wi-Fi and didn’t have the screens and things I was used to. It was still in business, and I liked that.
Everything is about construction and travel on this one. On the same trip, I went to a hotel that I read on the website had finished construction. I was excited. I like to be the first person to stay at a hotel. I don’t know why. It’s always exciting to me. In this particular hotel, I was like, “I won’t be there long. I’m going to get in at 10:00 PM, speak the next day, and be back in Palm Beach then. This will be fun. I’ll stay here.” I read it a little incorrectly. It wasn’t that it was finished with construction. It was under construction, as in renovation. I’ve never seen a hotel that was being so thoroughly renovated and still open for business. I could not help but laugh when I got there.
Automating Your Mindset: Hotel Renovations And Serendipity
Here’s what’s interesting. My reframing has been happening for so long that I tend to automatically reframe things and trust that everything’s going to be okay. Before, in my experience, I would’ve had to say, “Maybe this will be good for me because I’ll get a better deal. Maybe this will be good for me because I’m in a good location. Maybe this will be good for me because it’ll make me appreciate the next nice hotel I stay in. Those would be the kinds of new information that I would introduce to myself to help with the reframe. At this point, unless something’s crazy, I say, “I know this is happening for me instead of to me. I can’t wait to figure out how.”
Remember, everything is always happening for you, not to you. Share on XIt didn’t take long because the next day, when I ordered an Uber to go to my speaking engagement, the Uber driver happened to say, “You’re staying at the perfect place to go where you’re going because there’s no traffic. There’s so much traffic coming from the other direction.”I was so fortunate that I got to my speaking engagement very easily, all because I stayed in a hotel that was under construction. The room was fine. Everything was fine with that. If you had asked me beforehand, “Would you stay at a hotel that’s under construction so that you can get to your speaking engagement more quickly and with less stress?” 100%.
When You’re Too Upset: Distraction & Embracing “For You”
I want you to start thinking about this. The more often you can practice reframing, the more your unconscious mind is going to be like mine and do it automatically for you. Remember that process. You want to check your oven. Ask yourself, “Where am I at? How upset am I?” If you’re super duper upset, you’re not going to be able to reframe.
It’s better to distract yourself, ignore it, and go and talk to a friend. If you can, then remember, you need to think about what new information would help, whether it’s true at that moment or not, or what advice you would give a friend or a child who is in that same situation. Remember, everything is always happening for you, not to you. Here’s to your success.
