At first glance, building the best relationship ever in your life may seem to be an impossible task. But for April Shprintz, it only takes two things to create the most meaningful and fulfilling connecting with another person. Tune in this episode as she talks about those two tips, giving you the keys to unlocking the best relationship you could ever have.

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Want Your Best Ever Relationship? Do These 2 Things!

I am so glad you’re here. We haven’t talked about relationships in a while, at least relationships with your significant other, your partner. I want to do that in this episode because I have two tips that will help you have the best relationship of your life. Why should you take relationship advice from me? Have I been married for 20 or 30 years? Do I have the most amazing track record? I haven’t been married for 20 or 30 years. What I do have is reference-ability.

I could give you anyone that I’d been in a relationship with, let you talk to them, and they would give me a reference. They’d say, “Yes, be in a relationship with April.” They might tell you something awful that I said or mean that I did that I’d then have to own, but I would. They would tell you that it’s still worth being in a relationship with me. Hopefully, that’s a good enough way to give me credibility to give you this advice. The great news is, whether you think I’m credible or not, these two things work. When you hear them, you’ll understand what I mean.

The first one is to remember that a great relationship with someone else starts with you. Meaning, it’s always tempting to say, “If they would do this or if they would do that, everything would be so much easier.” The truth is it’s way easier to change ourselves. It’s way easier to change the way that we look at things and the way that we feel about things. The first one of these tips is game-changing and life-changing. You don’t have to use it with your partner or significant other. You can use it with lots of people. This is the number one thing I would tell anyone who wants to have an amazing relationship.

 

Whenever you want to criticize or correct the other person, even those little things that aren’t a big deal, but it’s like, “Could you not do this?” I want you to instead ask yourself, what is something great about your partner that you can genuinely compliment? Do that, compliment them. Don’t make it up. It has to be real. It has to come from the heart, but genuinely compliment something about them that you love that is amazing. I want you to continue to do that, not just in that moment, but over and over again. In your mind, if it’s one of those criticisms that you weren’t going to say out loud anyway, you were just thinking it or out loud if you were actually going to say it to them.

If you do that over and over again, you will literally train your mind to focus on the things that you love most about that person and two amazing things will happen. Number one, you’re not even going to notice the things that annoy you as much. It will be phenomenal. Remember, this is the same technique that we use for all of our mindset work of focusing on the things we want more of, our unconscious mind, our unpaid assistant points out more of it. Guess what else? You’re also going to be encouraging your partner to show you more of those things that you love about them. Whether they do that or not, you are going to be significantly happier with them in a matter of weeks. This works amazingly well. You have got to try it.

The second one is a reframe. When you don’t know the answer about something to do with your partner that you’re upset about and you know how you can get upset in your own mind. Ladies, I’m going to talk to you right now. Men, you don’t have to listen at this moment because ladies, you know I am talking to you because you know you do this because I know I do this. When you get in those pretend fights, they’re not even real fights yet because your partner hasn’t had a chance to answer. We’re going to change the way we have those pretend fights.

When we think of something we’re upset about, an unpaid bill, some bad news, or somebody being late for a reason that we don’t know. We are going to assume there is a great reason for it. No matter what it is, we will make up a fake great reason, but we are going to assume that that bill didn’t arrive on time or that what we thought was bad news was actually good news. We misunderstood it. They’re late for a reason we don’t know, but the moment we know that reason, we’re going to be so grateful they were late. They were delayed by an accident, but they weren’t in that accident, so that is awesome. I’m picking on the ladies because I used to have these make-believe fights all the time. I’m sure men do it too, but I don’t think they do it as much as we do.

 

When you make that choice to go ahead and reframe and give that person the benefit of the doubt, you’re doing two amazing things. 1) You’re not going to go into finding out whatever that is in a heightened state with what I like to say your oven turned up to 500. No matter what they say, you might overreact because you’re amped up about it. You’re going to be in a calmer place to get the news regardless of what it is.

 

2) Half the time, we get so amped up and so upset and we are wrong. Meaning, it wasn’t a bad thing. We misunderstood. It wasn’t what we thought it was. We calmed down, then you were upset for no good reason. For the folks who are pessimists or realists or however you want to look at it, who say, “Sometimes it really is a bad thing.” I got you, but let’s not be upset about it and suffer through it twice. Let’s go ahead and think about reframing it and assuming it’s something that we want it to be. If we find out it’s bad news, we’re in an even-keeled great place to deal with it.

When you focus on yourself and how you show up in a relationship, the other person automatically shows up better. You are positively encouraging without trying to change them. Share on X

If you do these two things in your relationship, you will have the best relationship you’ve ever had, no matter how the other person shows up. The amazing thing is when you focus on yourself and how you show up in a relationship, the other person automatically seems to be showing up better. They usually do show up better because you’re so positively encouraging them without trying to change them to do the things that would matter the most and be the best for you. I want you guys to give it a try and let me know. Don’t forget, you can always go to WinningMindsetMasteryPodcast.com. All the way down at the bottom is that Ask April button. You don’t have to just ask me a question. You can record your comments and let me know how this is working for you. I want to hear about it. Here’s to your success.