Feeling stuck or overwhelmed? Learn how to reframe negative situations and unlock a more positive outlook! This episode explores the power of reframing with a relatable example and a 3-step process to help you reframe any situation in your life. You’ll also discover how reframing can open doors to new possibilities and opportunities.
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The Power Of Reframing
I am so glad you’re here. Whenever someone asks me, “What is the number one thing you would tell me to get myself into a better mindset right the hell now, to get myself a better life right the hell now?” It would be reframing. It is the best technique, practice tool I have ever found to take whatever life you have right now today and make it even better within hours, days, and weeks. It is just the best thing that we can possibly do. The best way I can explain it to you is to use examples of things that we could reframe, usually after they’ve already happened.
Reframing is the best technique I've found to improve your life in hours, days, or weeks. Share on X
I had one yesterday. I had an electrician come to my house because I had a couple of outlets that were broken. I totally renovated, refurbished, what have you, my entire house about two years ago, including all the outlets, but I thought maybe they were getting too much use. The electrician came, and it was really funny because they were outlets that I needed for certain things. I had things plugged into random places with long cords. I was really excited for him to come and fix it.
As he’s looking at it, he says, “Is it the top one or the bottom one of those outlets?” I said, “It’s both.” He said, “I think these might be on a switch, and they might not be broken. They might just be turned off.” I was completely flabbergasted because, again, I live in a home that’s maybe 25, 30 years old, and there are probably light switches in different places in the rooms. I don’t know where they are because there’s more than one. He was 100% right. Both of these outlets that I have thought for months were broken, were not broken. They just had different ways that they could be turned off and on, and the outlets were fine.
When I say months, this was one of those things, and you know you have this in your house, where it’s inconvenient, but it’s not so inconvenient that you’re going to address it right now. It’s been three to six months that I’ve been waiting to call the electrician when I had a few things that I could have him fix. Here’s what’s really remarkable. Not only were my two outlets not broken, but they’re actually better than I thought they were because being able to control them with that switch is really convenient. I can put a lamp on one. I can use one for Christmas lights, so I’m super excited about this. That, my friends, is the power of a reframe.
A 3-Step Reframing Process
Just to refresh you, I have a three-step process for how you reframe any situation that happens in your life. The first thing I want you to ask yourself, number one, where is your oven? Meaning, how upset are you? How worked up are you? If we’re thinking about an oven, most things we want to bake at about 350. If we want to keep something warm, we’re at 180. If we get really stressed out, that oven is at 500. It is a broil. The thing is when your oven is that high, and if you are a big, high achiever, you do it all the time, I say this as someone who always did it, you don’t see what’s really going on because you’re so worked up. You’re not in a great place to get curious, to get analytical about what’s going on.
When you're so worked up, you can't see what's really going on – you're not in a good headspace to be curious or analytical. Share on X
The first thing is to check your oven and do whatever it is that you’ve got to do, whether you take a few breaths, take a walk, or call a friend to get yourself in a better state of mind to actually do the reframing. Then I want you to ask yourself, “What new information would help?” Now, in this case, it was real new information. That fantastic gentleman showed me that not only was it not broken, it actually had some features I didn’t realize it had. The information doesn’t even have to be true.
For example, and we’ve talked about this before, your significant other is an hour late to dinner. What information would make you okay with that? One piece of new information would be he or she has stopped on the side of the road to help someone who’s been in a car accident. They’re being a good Samaritan, that’s why they’re late. Or if you want to think of a totally different situation, let’s say you’re in a terrible traffic jam and you’re going to be late. What new piece of information would make that okay for you? Finding out that there was this terrible accident and your gratitude that you aren’t a part of that accident. Isn’t it a blessing for you that all you were today was delayed and inconvenienced? Those new pieces of information are so important.
The next thing you’re going to do is give the kind of advice that you might give to a friend or a child in this situation. For me, that advice was call an expert, “April, you don’t know what you’re doing.” In any situation, if you step outside of it, you get a little more objective, you can almost always come up with things that will make the situation easier for you to handle. Keep in mind, every time you reframe a situation, you are opening up your mind to all the possibilities and opportunities that are around you, rather than focusing on the things you don’t want, which your unconscious mind is such a great unpaid assistant, it will just point out more of those for you.
Keep in mind that these reframes can be so powerful, like what I experienced with the electrician. I’ll reframe one other thing. A friend of mine said, “Are you upset that you paid $100 to find out nothing was broken?” I said, “No way. I am thrilled. I paid $100 to find out that I have new features in my own home for my outlets. Also if someone else is having a problem, I might look super smart going, ‘Hey, have you tried the outlet?’”
Think about it with a relationship, it may have ended with someone and you think that is the worst thing that can happen to you. The thing is a little time goes by and a little new information. What if the new information is that made the space for someone who is going to be your life-changing relationship? What if you got laid off from your job and you’re upset and you’re scared, but it was a job that you really didn’t like anyway? Leaving it led you to find the job of your dreams.
What new pieces of information can you introduce yourself to this week to change the way that you are seeing your life? I want to hear about it. Go over to my website, WinningMindsetMasteryPodcast.com. All the way down at the bottom of the page, there’s Ask April. Leave me an audio message that comes to me personally, I will be happy to talk to you directly and privately as well. I want to hear how this works for you. Here’s to your success.