If you focus your mind on the wrong things in life, that is what you will all get. April Shprintz discusses the top three signs that you have a weak mindset that suppresses your full potential and what you must do to address them.
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The Top 3 Signs You Have A Weak Mindset
This episode is going to be a little different. If you’ve read for any amount of time, you know that I’m constantly framing things, focusing on the things we want to get, the things we want to focus on, versus focusing on things that we find bothersome that we don’t want, that we’re trying to avoid. That helps our unconscious mind, our unpaid assistant focus on and point out to us those things that we want instead of the things that we don’t want. Our unconscious minds do not understand don’t, contractions, and don’t want. You are still focusing on it. You’ll still get more of it.
Having said that, every once in a while, and this is true for me, you need a little kick in the tush that says, “These are the things that you’re doing wrong. You need to recognize it.” Once you have that information and you understand, then you can focus on doing things the right way and get to a better place with your progress. Sometimes if you’re not aware of it, you can’t fix it. This episode is for any of you who are not aware that you have any one of these top three signs, that you have a weak mindset, and understand, I am calling you out with love because at some point in time, someone has called me out on things like this and I appreciated it so much.
Weak Mindset: If you are not aware of the problem, you cannot fix it.
1) If you blame others for your problems with any regularity, that’s a sign of a weak mindset. You not getting a promotion is not because you have a sucky boss. You not having the relationship you want is not because your partner won’t blah. You being out of shape is not because you don’t have time to exercise. Those might be hard truths, but on the other side of that is the ownership that you have in each one of those situations.
If you happen to be in a work situation where your boss is not promoting you and you want to be promoted, you own the ability to look for somewhere else to work. You own the ability to find another way to get recognized. Apply for another internal position. You have the opportunity and the empowerment to fix all of the things that are wrong in your life. That’s why blaming others is a sign of a weak mindset. A winning mindset is instead seeing it as empowering to own those things.
Weak Mindset: If your boss at work is not promoting you, own the ability to find another way to get recognized or apply to another position.
If you don’t like the relationship that you have with your partner, you don’t have to change your partner. If you change the way you relate to your partner, your relationship will change. Do you see where I’m going with that? Think through that because we all have areas where we blame others, myself included. When I catch myself doing it, I say, “What is it you don’t want to take ownership of?” The moment you take ownership of it, it’s going to get better. When I say you, I’m pointing at myself, but I’m talking to you too.
2) If you have a victim mentality. This is an even bigger version of number one. If you don’t know what a victim mentality maybe sounds like, let me give you some examples because it can sneak up on us. A victim mentality can be very tempting. A victim mentality is, “People always treat me like this. I’m always getting taken advantage of. Life is never fair to me. This happens over and over again. There’s nothing I can do. This is just the way people are.” Do you see how in every single one of those examples, I’m giving my power away? By being the victim, I don’t have to deal with how to fix it because woe is me, all these other people suck, and I can’t fix it.
What I give away is my right, my ability, and my power to be my own hero. When you find yourself throwing a little bit of a pity party and you can throw a little bit of a pity party. I’ve done it. I was saying, “I wish this particular person would honor what reasonable boundaries are.” I didn’t always feel like I was the bad guy saying, “This is not going to work.” At the same time, I recognized, “You cannot change this other person.” What you can do is state your boundaries over and over again in a good way. This was a business situation. You will be able to keep that from happening, not just in this situation but in other situations.
Weak Mindset: You cannot change the other person. What you can do is state your boundaries over and over again in a good way.
I give you that example because I’m not picking on you when you have that victim mentality in a certain situation. We all have it somewhere, somehow, and it creeps up on you, especially if you’re tired or stressed or you’ve been going through something for a long period of time. The moment you recognize it and you become your hero, that situation changes on a dime. That’s why you want to do it.
3) If you are always seeking external validation. If you always need the award, the accolade to be known, someone to say, “You’re an amazing person,” to get an award, to get a promotion, whatever it is. If that is so incredibly important to you that not getting it is crushing, then you know you have a weak mindset. People who have a truly winning mindset know that that internal validation, that internal scorecard, that intrinsic part of them that knows they’re doing the right things and believes in themselves is far more powerful than any of the other accolades.
People who have a winning mindset, know that they are doing the right things, and believe in themselves are far more powerful than any accolade. Share on XHere’s the thing. When you have that internal motivation and belief that you are doing the right thing, you’re still going to get that external validation. It’s one of the funniest things. When you need it the least, you probably get it the most, but you also know how important it is and isn’t. Your internal validation of yourself is far more important. No matter how hot of a ticket you are, how many awards you get, or how many people love you, the world is fickle, and they will go back and forth on whether they think someone’s amazing or they don’t. That’s why they do so many political polls all the time because people’s minds change.
The mind that you want to have in a solid place where you always know that you are the best version of yourself is your own mind. It is that internal validation. It allows you to enjoy the process. It allows you to enjoy what you’re doing and what you’re going after. You’ll also get better results. If you see yourself slipping into any of these three signs, what I would recommend that you do is practice owning them, being your hero, and then finding ways to validate yourself internally. There are a lot of episodes on all these different subjects. I will help in any way I can because mastering these top three things and getting there 80% of the time where you can say, “I don’t do that,” will have such an incredible impact on your life. Here’s to your success.