While the holidays can be an amazing time to spend with your friends and family, it can also be one of the most stressful times of the year. While it’s valid to feel overwhelmed, especially if it’s not really your favorite time of the year, you might want to at least get through it without breaking down. If you want the holidays to be more fun for you and for others around you, April Shprintz shares her best tip for overcoming holiday stress. Here it is!
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The Secret To Overcome Holiday Stress
We are coming right up in the holiday season of 2023. I cannot believe how quickly 2023 has gone. While the holidays can be an amazing time to spend with your friends and family, it can also be one of the most stressful times of the year. Let’s first take a moment and recognize that. Also, remind ourselves that that’s okay if it’s stressful or it’s not your favorite time of the year. However, if you want it to be more fun for you and others around you, I want to share my best tip for overcoming holiday stress.
It’s super simple but I’ll even go through some reframes and show you how to use it. This is a game changer in life but it made the holidays such a better time for me. Here goes. It’s not about you. I’m not saying the holidays aren’t about you or you’re not special. What I’m saying is other people’s behavior, the things that happen that stress you out, are probably 99% of the time not about you. I want to give you some examples.
The things that happen that stress you out are probably 99% of the time not about you. Share on XOne that happens to us all year round but certainly during the holidays is somebody speeds past you. They cut you off. They drive like an absolute maniac and you’re thinking, “Why are they doing this?” You’re mad and already frustrated or stressed but what if the person in the other car is headed to their child’s holiday play? It’s the first time their child has ever been in the play and they have the lead. They’re running late because they got stuck at work, they were in line at the pharmacy, or whatever it is.
That person is driving crazy but it’s because they want to show up for their kid. Do you remember what it was like when you were a kid and you wanted your parent to be there at your event? Maybe we can assume that all those wackadoodle drivers have a good reason for why they’re driving like that so we can let that roll off our back a little easier.
Holiday Stress: Do you remember what it was like when you were a kid and you wanted your parent to be there at your event? Maybe we can assume that all those wackadoodle drivers have a good reason for why they’re driving like that so we can let that roll off our back just a little easier.
Let’s say we’re at Thanksgiving and mom is asking some questions about our finances and all these questions about our job. “How are you doing here? Aren’t you up for a promotion? How much have you saved to buy a house?” It’s all of these prying questions that make you feel like she doesn’t think you know what you’re doing with life at all.
What you don’t know is the last time that the economy was like this and there was this much inflation was when your mom and dad were first trying to buy a house. They finally bought a house at a crazy interest rate they could barely afford and then your dad lost his job. This was the hardest time that they had in their entire life and they didn’t know how they were going to feed you and take care of you. That’s where her worry comes from.
It’s not that she thinks you can’t do a good job. It’s that she has fear and residual worry about what happened to her. She wants everything to go well for you. Every time, our parents, aunts, uncles, or whoever is offering those unsolicited pieces of advice. Where they’re coming from is the place where they know they messed up and they want to make it easier for you.
Holiday Stress: What if every time our parents or our aunts or uncles or whoever are offering those unsolicited pieces of advice, they’re coming from a place where they know they messed up and they want to make it easier for you?
What about when you’re doing Secret Santa at the office or putting together little holiday get-togethers and fun things? You have that Bah Humbug co-worker who doesn’t want to participate at all and doesn’t want to have anything to do with it. They poo-poo all your ideas or have this awful attitude. You think, “Why do you have to ruin all of the things that we’re trying to do to make it festive for everyone else?”
Behind the scenes, what you don’t know is that a co-worker lost three different members of his family on different holidays. What the holidays remind him of is loss. He doesn’t know how to deal with it and he doesn’t feel comfortable telling you. He puts on a grumpy front because he doesn’t want to cry at work or open up that way. The way that he’s reacting has nothing to do with how he feels about what you’re trying to do for him and the rest of the office. It had everything to do with the personal struggle that he had.
I am telling you as odd as it seems that 99% of the time when people do things that are hurtful, aggravating, or make you angry, it isn’t directed at you at all. When you can remember that and you can teach yourself through using these reframes and reprogramming your unconscious mind to remind you of different scenarios that could be happening, you can get to the point where fewer things cause you to stress less and bother you.
Holiday Stress: As odd as it seems, 99% of the time when people do things that are hurtful, aggravating, or make you angry, it isn’t directed at you at all.
Your overall outlook, whether it’s the holidays or any other time, will be better in the sense that you will be calmer and people will less be able to get under your skin. The greatest gift I can give anyone as we get closer to the holidays or any day is finding a way to go through life every single day where things bother them less and they have a better outlook. Also, they feel more at peace all the time. That’s the gift I’m going to give you. I hope that you’ll use it. I hope that as we go into a holiday season, it’s the best one yet. I want you to know that I’m always rooting for you. Here’s to your success.
