In a world that often prioritizes appearances, true happiness lies in understanding how something feels rather than just how it looks. Focusing on feeling over looking is the heart of this episode, where April Shprintz shares her personal journey and insights into shifting from external validation to internal fulfillment. April delves into real-life examples of how prioritizing genuine emotions over perceived success led to profound changes. From leaving a “dream job” to redefining meaningful celebrations and even choosing furniture based on comfort rather than aesthetics, April emphasizes that our true happiness and success come from aligning our actions with our genuine feelings. Learn how to tune into what truly resonates with you and make choices that bring authentic joy.
—
Listen to the podcast here
How It FEELS Vs. How It Looks
Form Vs. Function – A Confession
Hi, there. I’m so glad you’re here. I have to admit something to you. I have a confession. For most of my life, I have been a form-over-function kind of person. I’ve cared far more about what something looks like than the way it feels to me in so many areas. Some of that is completely natural and normal. I like beautiful things. I like things to be organized. I like things to be nice. There’s nothing at all wrong with that, but there was a part of this for a big part of my life.
Candidly, it is probably still something that I do more than I should, that came from a place of, “If things look good, then they are good.” It didn’t matter as much to me how much I felt about it or how good I felt about it. It mattered what other people thought. That way of living your life can lead to so much unhappiness. My challenge for you is to start paying more attention to how it feels to you than how it might look to other people.
Leaving The “Dream Job”: Prioritizing Impact Over Perception
I’m going to give you some examples from my own life because it may be hard to wrap your head around what I’m saying. Years ago, when I worked in the corporate world, I was part of a very successful startup. It ended up having a $7 billion IPO. I was their top salesperson. I was earning seven figures. I had a wonderful job and great co-workers. All of these people around me were like, “You’re so lucky. You have a dream job. You work at this dream company.”
I left that company to start my own business. I wasn’t even certain what I was going to do, but what I knew was that I wanted to make more impact. I stayed probably a year longer than I should have because I kept thinking, “Why would I leave this? Everyone will think I’m crazy.” What I realized was that I was paying so much attention to what other people would be happy about versus what I would be happy about. That’s where this gets you when you pay more attention to how something looks than how it feels.
Start paying more attention to how something feels to you than how it might look to other people. Share on XRethinking Celebrations: Intimacy Vs. Grandeur
I have another example, using someone else. When my best friend and I first met, he used to be huge on having these big birthday parties where he would invite 30 people to dinner, and everyone would be celebrating his birthday because it made him feel important. However, a lot of those people weren’t really his friends. They weren’t close. They were acquaintances or they were people he didn’t even like that much, but he liked how it looked that so many people would come and celebrate his birthday. One of the things I pushed him on is, “What if you did a more intimate gathering for your birthday with people who care about you? I think that’s going to feel different.”
This was way back when I cared way more about how it looked and how it felt. We’re always ready to help somebody else with a problem we also have. When he did it and he had four people celebrating his birthday, he felt so much more loved and special, and he had so much more fun. It might look awesome that the whole world wants to come to your birthday party, or there are a lot of people who say, “You can tell how good of a person you are by how many people come to your funeral.”
You don’t know because you’re not there. I don’t think that’s true. I think it’s complete bullshit. Impacting people doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re constantly surrounded by people, and having true, genuine connections doesn’t mean that you have tons and tons of friends. It just means that the friends that you have mean something to you.
The Comfort Couch: Choosing What Feels Right At Home
Here is the last one. This felt very impactful. I love beautiful things. I love things to have a certain aesthetic. I put a lot of love and care into how I decorated my home. The sofa that I had was beautiful. It was a Chesterfield sofa. It was leather. It looked like what you’d see in an old library. It was beautiful. It had those little tufts on it with the buttons, and it matched perfectly. A few years ago, I fell in love with this huge sofa from Restoration Hardware, which is deep. I call it a cuddle couch.
Impacting people doesn't necessarily mean that you're constantly surrounded by people. Having really true, genuine connections doesn't mean that you have tons and tons of friends. Share on XLots of people can sit on it together, have fun, and watch movies. It’s one of those relaxed and comfortable pieces. I found myself encouraging my friends to get them because I loved them so much. I finally said, “The only thing that is keeping you from getting this sofa is the fact that you think the other one looks better. You think some people would think you were crazy for trading for a sofa that wasn’t as pretty.” I realized it. I definitely had help. My other half was asking me questions. I’ve got to give credit there.
What I will tell you is that trading that sofa out for one that was much more comfortable, that I loved so much more, was so exciting. It wasn’t quite as beautiful. It isn’t, but I love it. It feels so good. I can’t wait to sit on it. I love to watch movies on it, relax, and do all of these things. I think to myself, “That other sofa was beautiful, but it was stiff. It wasn’t the most fun to sit on, and it wasn’t easy to cuddle on. Why did you live that way for so long?”
How Does It Feel To You?: The Ultimate Question
It inspired me to ask you to ask yourself, “What if you pay more attention to how it feels than how it looks, because that’s what matters the most? How do you feel?” When you are happy, you are focused. You are getting the things you want in life because you are allowing them in. The next time that you want to think about how something looks to other people, I want you to ask yourself, “How does it feel to me?” Here’s to your success.
