In this episode, April talks about how to deal with being surrounded by negativity in your life. She shares three simple steps to help you develop the mindset and life you want. How to get rid of excess negativity you don’t realize is affecting you. Think of it like cleaning your room – when you take out the trash, you have more space to enjoy the good things. How to handle being in situations that don’t suit your new mindset easily and without confrontation. Set boundaries to change how you feel around others. Imagine you’re building a fence around you and negative comments can’t get in. April wants you to remember that you can’t change other people, but you can change how you react to them. These steps will change your experiences and help you stay on your winning mindset path.
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Escape Negativity’s Death Grip: Discover 3 Powerful Secrets to Transform Your Life
I got an amazing question from one of our readers, Simone. I love this question, and how much benefit are you allowing me to share it with everyone is going to have. Simone wanted to know what to do when you are surrounded in your life by negativity. When those people closest to you are trying to hold you back, they sabotage some of your progress, what do you do to keep yourself moving forward from a mindset perspective?
The first thing I want to tell everyone is the stronger you get in holding that good mindset, the less any person on the outside can get to you. In the beginning, I was 100% candid. When I was working on my mindset, I didn’t even want to go out into the world because I didn’t want someone to take me out of that great mindset and how good it felt to me.
The stronger you get at holding that good mindset, the less anyone on the outside can get to you.
What I realized is the better job that I did on working on my mindset and the better job I did of using boundaries in a great way that I will teach you in three simple steps, the easier it was for me to navigate the world and people who may not have been as mindset-focused. The first one is to find ways to remove unnecessary negativity from your life. If you have a friend who is always posting rants on your social media, mute them. If the news always brings you down every time you watch it, decide instead to read it or get your news from other sources and that you are not spending as much time getting the news that comes from it bleeds, it leads, or whatever gets the highest rating.
Two, find a way to distance yourself from your sabotages. I don’t mean you never go around them and spend time with them. It is about becoming busy. You are going to focus on yourself and your growth. You will get out of the house more often if you live with those folks or do not engage with them as much because you are busy going to the gym, reading at Starbucks, spending time with other friends, or whatever gets you in better energy. You are not necessarily confronting them but limiting your exposure to that negativity.
Numbers 1 and 2 play into number 3 because you are going to get stronger, and your mindset will improve because you are removing some of that excess negativity. You are now able to practice boundaries using I statements and changing yourself, not them. That last sentence is key. Changing yourself, not them.
Your mindset will improve once you remove some of that excess negativity from your life.
I’m going to give you some of the same examples that I gave to Simone. Sometimes you don’t understand how you would implement these boundaries. At the beginning of my mindset journey, not only did I realize that I was much more focused on the negative than I wanted to be, I was still surrounded by a lot of people who were. I saw that as a way to practice reframing. That is to take whatever the thing is and find a way to change the focus. It becomes something that you feel either neutral or good about.
I practice that reframing in my head. If they were talking about politicians and how terrible they were, I would say, “Often politicians can be corrupt, but I’m glad they exist because our country would be in chaos if they weren’t.” “The commute from work is long, but that is a great time to listen to the book I’ve been trying to listen to on Audible.” I was doing these in my head, not saying them to the people. They weren’t confrontational, but they helped keep me in a good mind space. They helped me spend more time with these people without them bringing me down.
I also had a great friend who loved to watch super violent TV. In that time period, I was moving away from things like that. I saw a lot of violence when I was in the military. I didn’t want to see more of it, but it is not about trying to change other people. It is changing your environment. When I would hang out with him, I would bring a book. If he was watching something that wasn’t something I wanted to watch, I would say, “I’m not great with these shows. I’m going to go to the other room and read for a little bit. I’m excited about this book.” I wasn’t saying it in a mad or frustrated way. I needed to change my environment.
The great thing is you can make these changes for yourself, and other people don’t have to change with you. Over time, you are going to find that some people who want to be around you are going to change their behavior by their own choice without you even saying it. One more example is if you have anyone in your life who has a big habit of talking negatively about other people, I will share it with them, “I prefer to talk about the good in people or a different subject. How about we talk later?” I would then end that conversation.
You can make changes for yourself. Other people don't have to change with you. Over time, you will find that some people who want to be around you are going to change their behavior by their own choice without you even saying it. Share on XWhy this works is you are sharing what doesn’t work for you in a non-confrontational and non-judgmental way. You are also ending that communication. That person can choose to modify their behavior at another date, or they might not. That may always happen if you enforce that boundary when someone takes you to a place you don’t want to be.
When you share what doesn’t work for you in a non-confrontational and non -judgmental way, you are also ending that communication and enforcing that boundary with someone who is taking you to a place you don’t want to be.
I hope this is helpful to you. If you want your question answered personally and privately or here on the show, if you prefer, you can go and submit that question to me on the website WinningMindsetMasteryPodcast.com. All the way down at the bottom is an Ask April section. You can give me your question in your own voice. I will answer you. If you like, I will also put it on the show. Here is to your success.
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