Do you believe in magic words? Today, April Shprintz shares three magic mindset-changing words that can change your entire perspective about any given situation. Tune in!
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Email: april@drivenoutcomes.com
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3 Magic Mindset Changing Words
I am so glad you’re here. Here’s a quick question for you. Do you believe in magic words, not like, “Please. Thank you,” but actual magic words? I 100% do, especially when we’re talking about a reframe. There are certain words that can change the entire perspective that we have about any given situation. I have three of them for you that will be a game changer.
No matter who the person is, someone can ask us questions that will trigger us, set us off, or put us on a crazy trajectory. The question itself isn’t what did it but maybe what we feel about that question, what we think about that question, or the value that we assign to it. For example, someone says, “Are you working late again?” We hear, “You’re not spending enough time with your kids. You’re ignoring your family. Why aren’t you finished yet? Why aren’t you prioritizing the things that are important?”
Someone can ask us questions that will trigger us, set us off, or put us on a crazy trajectory. Share on XLet’s say someone says, “Have you asked for that raise yet?” All of a sudden, you hear, “You are not making enough. I’m terrified to talk to my boss about this. I’m a loser for not doing this.” Let’s say they say something like, “How is your diet going?” You’ve blown it for the past week and a half because you’ve been in such a stressful situation. You start coming down hard on yourself about how you failed and broke promises to yourself. You don’t know how to get back on track. It’s this barrage of negative thinking.
Let’s say oftentimes we’re upset with the person who asked us the question and we want to come back at them. I want to give you one little piece of advice with these three magic words. They don’t know. If they don’t seem that profound, stick with me here. They’re asking you these questions because they don’t know these other pieces of information.
Mindset Changing Words: Sometimes, when there’s a barrage of negative thinking, we’re upset with the person for asking a question, and we want to come back at them.
You’re working late again but the reason why is because you’re working on a super important project. You know that it’s going to get you promoted. It’s going to be huge for your career. When they ask if you’ve asked about that raise, you know that your entire company went through a reduction in force. They lost a lot of great people and it would be super tone-deaf to ask for a raise but they don’t know that.
They don’t know because they don’t have the extra information that you have. That’s where that question is coming from. If they ask how your diet is going, they don’t know you’ve been under stress. They don’t know that you’re not succeeding on it as you have been for the past six months. They’re looking for a way to cheer you on because they don’t know.
Mindset Changing Words: People ask questions when they don’t have the extra information that you have. That’s where the questions are coming from.
The first time I heard this, I thought it was incredibly powerful. I tried it myself for a couple of weeks every time someone irritated me, someone I knew, someone who was a stranger, or anything like that. For me, it was easier to ask myself, “What if they don’t know?” A lot of times, people don’t. We don’t know where they’re coming from and what they’re thinking about. It benefits us immensely if we give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they don’t know. They ask the question because they don’t know the answer and where we are with it.
What are the ways that you could apply this in your life or the situations where you could slow yourself down? We know. We can feel it when someone asks us a question. It hackles us and we’re irritated. Say, “What if they don’t know? They don’t know.” This is as powerful to me as adding the word yet when you say you haven’t done something, “I haven’t gotten my degree yet. I haven’t been able to run a four-minute mile yet.”
These are things that are signs of a growth mindset. You recognize that there is space for something else or something different. Sometimes that space is for you to get to the thing that you’re looking to get to. Sometimes that space is the grace that you give other people. The more time you spend giving grace to other people, thinking, “What if they don’t know,” the more grace you’re going to inadvertently also give yourself, which is a huge benefit because every single one of us is too tough on ourselves. No matter how tough you are on other people, you’re at least twice as tough on yourself.
Mindset Changing Words: Adding the word “yet” is a sign of a growth mindset. You recognize that there is space for something else, something different.
Try this out. The next time someone irritates you or asks a question that triggers you, ask yourself, “What if they don’t know?” With all those other details that you know that make it annoying, how would you respond to the question then? How would you feel about it then? I bet it’s going to be a lot better than if you hadn’t asked yourself that question. Here’s to your success.
