Are you tired of fighting negative emotions instead of learning to manage them? A winning mindset isn’t about ignoring feelings—fighting them only keeps you stuck. The good news: there’s a simple, science-backed secret that changes everything. Today, April Shprintz shares the 90-Second Rule, a physiological hack that helps you process emotion, reframe powerfully, and build a true winning mindset. Stop pushing feelings down. Learn the natural process toddlers use—and the steps you can take now—to break free and step into real emotional freedom.
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90 Seconds To A Better Life
One of the questions I get asked a lot is about mindset being just don’t feel negative emotion, don’t think about it. Just always think about the positive thing. Is that how you do it? That 100% is not how you do it. I want to talk about this 90-second thing that you can do that will change everything in your life, and it will also make practicing a winning mindset so much easier.
The 90-Second Rule For Emotions
Here’s something I bet you didn’t know. The average emotion has a physical response with it. Think about if you get angry or you get sad, angry, you might feel just really like a pull in your stomach or somewhere else in your body, but that physiological response is only 90 seconds. Ninety seconds just to feel your emotion and let it flow through you so that you can get to the place where you can reframe things and get to a better mindset.
Now, here’s the thing. People are like, “No, my emotions last way longer than that.” Well, then 1 of 2 things is happening. Number one, you’re either pushing the emotions down over and over again, and then when they finally bubble up to the surface, it’s like a pot boiling over. That’s why they’re lasting so long.
The Immediate Reframing Process
This is the one that I think most of us get stuck in, and I do this myself. You’re ruminating. The emotion itself only lasts for about 90 seconds, but then you think things about the situation, or you think things about the way you feel that make you feel worse or extend that negative emotion. What I want you to do instead, because this is a game changer, is you have the reaction, you feel the emotion. Give yourself that 1 to 2 minutes. Give yourself that 90 seconds. Feel that emotion, and then ask yourself immediately, “Can I reframe this?” If you can, great.
Here’s a reminder of how you reframe it. Ask yourself, what new information would help? How might this be working out for you or think of what advice would I give to a close friend or a child if this were happening to them? That is our reframing process, which we’ve talked about together for years. You can utilize that process if you’re in a calm enough state.
The emotion itself lasts only about 90 seconds, but then we start thinking about the situation—or about how we feel—and those thoughts make us feel worse or extend the negative emotion. Share on XIf you aren’t right, maybe you’re ruminated a little bit. Maybe this is a really big deal to you. This happens to me 100%. Allow yourself to feel that emotion and then distract yourself. Just focus on something else until you can come back and reframe. I have a friend who is amazing in a reframe. They’re always in a great place, and sometimes when I’m really pissed, I’m like, “It’s too soon. You’re going too far, too soon. I need to do something else.”
Some of the things that I do to distract myself are any type of physical activity. Go for a walk, go to Pilates, go do a workout, even play with my dog. Those kinds of things can distract me enough to get back to the place where I can reframe. Sometimes if those aren’t working, maybe i’ll call a friend. Maybe i’ll watch funny puppy videos, which I love to do. If it’s really bad, i’ll take a nap.
The Power Of Feeling Vs. Stuffing Emotions
After all those things, I can try the reframing again. I will tell you, none of these work as well if you don’t first feel that emotion. What you may not realize is you’ve been trained over a lifetime to stuff your emotions. Whether it’s because you were told as a child that the way you were reacting wasn’t appropriate for the place that you were, or whether you were not even verbally told, but just shown that your emotions were too much for the other people. A lot of us have really unconsciously learned not to express those.
The next time you’re around a toddler, I want you to look at the way that they feel things. Some people may say, “Toddlers feel things really intensely.” They’re just very natural and very transparent about exactly what’s going on. If you notice, you can see a toddler get pissed off, cry and be sad, and go back to happy. They can do it all in about 3 or 4 minutes. That is how we all came here to be. That is how all of us would be if we hadn’t been programmed to stuff things down.
I want you to mimic that. When you have something happen that gives you all the feelings, I want you to feel those feelings. Notice how when you let them flow through you, they don’t last very long. You can then move into that reframe and you are much more successful with it. Give this a try, and if you have any questions about it or there’s part of this that just isn’t clear, don’t forget, you can always go to WinningMindsetMastery.com. All the way down at the bottom of the page is the Ask April section.
Remember, you can pose a question, voice it to me. It will come to me directly, and it is completely private. It comes to my personal email. I will answer you personally and privately and be more than happy to help you with this technique because your success is my success, and that is what really is the juice for me. If there’s any way that I can help you, let me know. Here’s to your success.
